Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
