How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
