Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
