your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
