We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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