Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Welp...herpes.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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