I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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