...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
