The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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