One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
