She is in my trunk
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
a search helicopter?!
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
