from now on my penis is your penis
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
