I got chris browned last night
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
