I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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