And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I think people are normalizing furries
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
