At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
