I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
