New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
