Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
