doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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