I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I fill condoms, not promises.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
