so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
