i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
