there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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