I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
