do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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