Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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