I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Congratulations! We have a period
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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