Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I need to sanitize my soul.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
