Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
