I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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