it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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