I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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