ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
