You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
