I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
