no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
