It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I understand Curling. That high.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize