i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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