How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
