How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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