well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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