let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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