Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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