So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
