Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
did i walk over a car last night?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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