I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
