They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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