remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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