We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
