And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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