i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I fill condoms, not promises.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
