so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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