So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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