True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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