Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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