In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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