margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
