you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
