FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
