he puts the penis in happiness.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
