I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
