Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
