He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
